Malu Bermúdez

Name: Malu Bermúdez
Originally from: Bogotá, Colombia
How long have you lived in Amsterdam? 11 years
Age and gender of your child: Daughter, 2.5 years old
What surprised you most about becoming a mom? My biggest realization was to learn how similar motherhood and entrepreneurship are. I treasure how managing uncertainty, loneliness, risk and constantly adapting to change were not a given reduction to my life as an entrepreneur. Motherhood is a place for a real “hood” and living ecosystem where many things happen and many players co-create. Learning how to navigate motherhood from an entrepreneurial perspective not only led me to integrate my past and present self, but also create a community where we could all truly belong.

Interview

"I believe that sharing what’s really going on is the first step towards increasing awareness of what mothers are dealing with, often in total solitude. Dare to connect by sharing who you are and what type of help you need in an honest and open way. You’ll be surprised about how many strangers are more than ready to help."

What was your most recent parenting win?

Sleeping by myself in bed after my divorce was like the full circle on getting back to myself while also seeing how our new lives were shaping after separation. It can be read like a painful experience (which also was of course), but the win was to rediscover myself as a single mother in the Netherlands and decide what’s next for me. And yes, sleeping by myself for some nights per week is helping my system to reset and get new energy for what is yet to come!

What’s been easier about having a kid than you thought it would be?

Pregnancy and birth were super easy for me! No symptoms apart from growing a belly and then spending some time delivering a bridged baby for 72 hours! (Editor's note: This does not sound EASY 🤣!)

I am a natural care giver, so seeing how Rosario is growing has been a blessing. Best of all is that I have done it in a way that makes sense to me - meaning that I never go to other parents to see what to do or expect from my own kid’s development. I just use my intuition and get surprised about everything my daughter is bringing to my table.

What’s been more challenging?

The cocktail of dealing with my divorce process while enjoying the first year of my daughter’s life and building a business. Of course, topping that off with sleepless nights and the physical exhaustion that comes with it can make many memories really blurry.

I believe that sharing what’s really going on is the first step of increasing awareness of what mothers can be dealing with, often in total solitude. There’s power in vulnerability, and real connection can only happen from that authentic place.

What have you been surprised to learn about your kid?

"I realized that I am seen, observed and mirrored, which led me to reflect on how I live life. These little details are a huge part of how we are building home together."

My daughter is my kinder surprise! She was a surprise pregnancy when I turned 40, and since then I am constantly learning from her. It was so beautiful to see how she started getting a sense of the world by showing me how much she was looking at me. I didn't realize that I started every morning looking for my glasses, my hair elastic, and my phone until after waking up she started giving me all those things one by one, saying, “Here it is, now we can start our day.” I realized that I am seen, observed and mirrored, which led me to reflect on how I live life. These little details are a huge part of how we are building home together.

Healthy co-parenting comes to the top of my search categories as a new single mama. I want to make sure that Rosario grows in a great environment and that she knows that she is loved by her parents. I also asked AI to help me with the transition moments as Rosario started staying over at her dad’s since summer. There’s a lot of change going on so I am trying to work on making it smooth while adapting to the new schedules. My surprise is how good she has been responding and that gives me the reassurance to keep on listening to her instead of thinking about her potential responses.

What has being a parent taught you about yourself?

Drawing the line. Having a baby decreases your available time, space and energy. You are forced to finally learn how to prioritise and set your boundaries. All those things that were in your box become a strong no, or at least not now. Rosario is my handbrake, my reason to put myself first, to lose any shame on asking for help and to be more selective about what I do with my time and who I share it with.

I’m now an ‘armchair expert’ in…

Surfing the wild, unpredictable waves of motherhood and entrepreneurship - no surfboard required!

"What started as a simple desire for connection became a thriving community of women navigating the same beautiful mess - building businesses, raising little humans, and redefining what success looks like together. Now, I spend my days doing exactly that."

Back in October 2023, I found myself alone, breastfeeding my baby, when I had a revelation: I didn’t want to do this journey solo. So, I set out to find my people.

What started as a simple desire for connection became a thriving community of women navigating the same beautiful mess - building businesses, raising little humans, and redefining what success looks like together. Now, I spend my days doing exactly that - enjoying the ride, one coffee talk at a time.

What do you love about having a kid in the Netherlands?

If there’s a place to be a parent, especially a single mother - that place is the Netherlands. When I got the positive test on my pregnancy the first thing I Googled was “having a kid in the Netherlands” followed by “how much does it cost”, “as an entrepreneur”, “international communities.” I was happily surprised about what I found that led me to the final yes on the decision of having my baby.

I have lived in the Netherlands since 2012, so I have lived most of my adult life here. However, entering the challenging and amazing universe of motherhood took me to a different dimension. I felt (and still feel) like starting from scratch but I have used all the support I could and decided to not do it alone since the beginning. The Dutch system simply works: there are plenty of resources, spaces and people willing to help. And the best bonus point: the international parent community is strong, connected and visible!

What do you wish you had known before becoming a parent?

Honestly, nothing. The best part of the parenting combo deal is that it’s 100% learning by doing. I bought the books, watched the videos, talk to others who gave me lots of unwanted opinions - but at the end of the day, what really helped me was to take a deep dive into how I wanted to be a mother and just allow myself to see how it all unfolded into practice. There’s no perfection, no ideal situation. You must let go and trust your own journey. That’s the most important lesson and the real gold in the transformative experience of becoming a parent.

What's your best piece of advice for parents-to-be or new parents?

Parenthood is your sacred journey. Flow in it as your intuition tells you but please please please whenever you struggle or even when you think you might struggle, don’t do it alone. Meeting other parents who simply get what you are going through makes all the difference. Loneliness will send you many friend requests. Sit with her to reflect on what you really need right now, at this very exact moment. And from there dare to connect by sharing who you are and what type of help you need in an honest and open way. You’ll be surprised about how many strangers are more than ready to help.

Reach out to Malu

If you want to continue the conversation, Malu is happy to talk to any parents who want to follow up with her; you can reach her personally via her LinkedIn.