For this special edition of Dear Dr. Mom, we asked the three expert panelists from our upcoming Burnout Brunch to answer a community question on navigating stress and burnout as a working parent. The experts are:

• Dr. Irena Domachowska, Psychotherapist at ID Therapy & Coaching (and APP cofounder!)
• Karla Calinawan, Founder and Transformational Coach at Working Mama Collective
• Shelly Janes, Entrepreneurial Coach for Mamas

If you’re keen to hear more from them, join us at Burnout Brunch on 25 Jan! You can reserve your spot here.

The community asked:

How can I recenter when arriving home after a long and hard work day, and make the switch from “work” mode to “give everything to your baby” mode?

Our answer:

Work/life balance is so much more than splitting your day into work hours and home hours; it’s about creating the right mindset to help you thrive both personally and professionally. We asked three stress and burnout experts — career coaches Karla and Shelley and psychotherapist Irena — how to find that mindset between work and life given the difficult constraints of being a working parent.

Their answer: Create an “after-work routine” for yourself that sets a clear boundary between work ending and family time beginning. It’s important to have a set of rituals to transition from work to home that you can do even with limited time and energy.

“I would encourage you to start small,” says transformational coach Karla Calinawan, who founded the Working Mama Collective to help mothers ease back into work after maternity leave. When you leave your desk, consider decompressing by listening to a favorite song or podcast. If you commute, you could take time to appreciate new scenery on the ride home.

Shelley Janes calls these “green moments:” 5-10 minute acts that are “just for you, something that makes you feel ‘ahhh…’.” . The entrepreneurial coach, who helps mamas build non-traditional career paths, recommends bookending each day with small green moments. She says that focusing on mindfulness and the present moment can help combat any difficulties you’re having when shutting down work mode: like when you’re replaying your workday in your mind instead of focusing on your baby.

“Ease into the transition by focusing on a simple bonding activity like cuddling, singing a song, or sharing a snack. Being fully present with your baby in the first 10-15 minutes after getting home can set a loving tone for the evening,” says psychotherapist Dr. Irena Domachowska.

Psychotherapist Dr. Irena Domachowska (one of APP’s cofounders!) also acknowledges that pivoting from a demanding workday to fully engaging with your baby can be tricky. If you’re feeling drained, “ease into the transition by focusing on a simple bonding activity like cuddling, singing a song, or sharing a snack. I love to start our encounter with breastfeeding - we naturally cuddle, I can smell my baby and ground myself in the moment.” Being fully present with your baby in the first 10-15 minutes after getting home can “set a loving tone for the evening.”

Keep in mind, though: You’re lifting an incredible mental load, juggling work and parenting all at once. Karla stressed that if you feel the need to “give everything to your baby” after work, it could lead to feeling overwhelmed and that you’re ”not enough.” She recommends to “keep [the routine] simple and try not to put too much pressure on yourself.”

So next time you’re done at work, celebrate your ability to be present for your job and your family, whatever that looks like for you. Creating a short and simple after-work routine will ground you so that you’re ready to tackle whatever challenge your baby has for you when you get home!

Looking to build your after-work routine? Here’s a list of small rituals you can do right after work to arrive refreshed and ready for parent mode:

Mindfulness:

• 5-4-3-2-1 Technique: Acknowledge 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste (Irena)
• Meditation — The Calm app has 1-3 minute meditations (Karla)
• Pretend you’re much older and you’ve time traveled back for a day with your little one (Shelley)
• Listen to a song or podcast (Karla & Shelley)

Exercise:

• A short walk around your home (Karla)
• Dance to a favorite song in a room where you would not be interrupted (Karla)

Changing your route home:

• Get off one tram stop earlier (Irena)
• Taking a small detour on your bike ride home to look at scenery (Shelley)
• Walk to/from the daycare instead of biking (Irena)

Connecting with others:

• Call someone, like your best friend or sister (Shelley)
• Breastfeeding (Irena)
• Share a snack with your baby (Irena)
• Sing a song with your baby (Irena)

Continue the conversation with us!

Join us for Burnout Brunch at Hannah’s on 25 January! Tickets here.