The community asked:

I love being a mom, but I feel like everything I do is about my baby these days. I’m struggling to figure out where my personal growth fits in. How can I set and achieve goals now that I have a kid?

Our answer:

It’s natural to feel a little bit lost when you become a parent. Having a new baby is great, but it’s natural to feel that parts of yourself may have taken a backseat while you were busy juggling new routines and new ways of doing things. But with everything you have going on, how are you supposed to balance personal growth with your family life?

“Reconnect with your core values so you can focus on what really matters to you,” says Isabel.

Rather than focusing on rigid resolutions or goal-setting, the key is finding the ideals that resonate with you – your core values. “You have to reconnect with your core values so you can focus on what really matters to you,” says coach Isabel Theissen, who specializes in helping modern moms to thrive personally and professionally. “Knowing your core values is powerful because they help you prioritize and set boundaries for what you really want to spend your time on without feeling guilty.”

To find your core values, Isabel recommends a simple yet powerful journaling exercise.

First, take a blank sheet of paper and reflect on the ways you currently spend most of your time, money and energy. Give three examples for each category.

Next, jot down a list of the values that are important to you. These can be concepts such as “Purpose”, “Adventure”, “Sincerity” or “Work/Life Balance”. Try not to think too hard about this - just write down anything that comes to mind.

Once you’ve listed them, group the values you’ve chosen into clusters. Where do you see themes or connections? Give each cluster a name. This can be the value that resonates most with you, or a name you make up yourself. Finally, look back over these values and rank the ones that matter most for you from 1-5. These are your core values.

Once you’ve figured out what your core values are, figuring out what actually matters becomes much simpler. If your number 1 is “Friends & Family” but you feel like you’re spending too much time solo, you know to prioritize calling up your best friend or joining a parent meetup. Similarly, seeing a focus on “Serenity” may inspire you to find time for a 3 minute meditation before you get out of bed in the morning.